Why Is Understanding Money a Form of Self-Care?

The Hidden Problem

We’re taught that self-care is bubble baths, candles, maybe yoga on a good day. Or taking ourselves out to go shopping for shoes. Remember Carrie Bradshaw in Sex And The City when she realizes that she spent 40,000 US dollars on shoes? 100 pairs à 400 USD each.

You can literally see the penny drop when she does the math in her head. And she couldn’t afford to make a downpayment to buy her apartment - but has a closet full of pretty designer shoes. Maybe she “treated” herself a bit too much… and neglected the financials behind her actions. Not saying that this is you, but you get the point - and hey, we all have a bit of Carrie inside of us.  

Few people realize: neglecting your relationship with money is one of the most overlooked ways we sabotage our peace of mind. 

When you don’t understand how money works, when you avoid it, fear it, mindlessly spend it or hand it over to someone else to “deal with”, you create a constant undercurrent of stress. That stress lives in your body.  

It erodes your sense of safety, your sleep, your ability to focus.  

And the longer it lingers, the more it compounds, just like interest.

“I know I should. I want to. But I just… don’t.”

We simply haven’t been taught that understanding money is caring for ourselves. Our peace of mind today and, more importantly, our future selves. 

And what do I mean by “money”?

I mean, your own personal financial situation, the fact that your money loses value if it just sits in your bank account (hello, inflation!), the fact that the entire financial system doesn’t care very much about people like you and me and more about billionaires and big, big international corporations.

And yes, all of that can seem daunting, but it’s really not. It’s actually quite simple to set ourselves up for success. But often, our emotions get in the way. What if you could reframe that? 

Emotional Insight

Many of us grew up with the idea that money is stressful, complicated or not for us. We were taught that self-care is a warm bath, a walk or time with a friend (which are all wonderful).  But no one told us that sitting down to understand our finances is just as loving.  

Because when you do, you create:

• Peace of mind  

• Clearer decisions  

• Less of that background hum of worry
  
  

Understanding your money doesn’t mean you have to have it “all figured out.”  It means you’re showing up for yourself, even in small ways.

Behavioral Pattern

Here’s what often happens:

• We want to feel calm about money

• But we associate money tasks with stress or failure and don’t know where to start

• So we avoid them or just do another abundance meditation and hope for the best

• Which creates more uncertainty and outsources your decisions (you think the universe is going to magically give you an overview over your expenses? Sorry to break it to you, but probably not.)

• Which makes us feel even less calm  

It’s a gentle loop that we can easily ignore, but it keeps us stuck.

And the longer we stay in it, the more it feels like money is the source of our stress, when really, it’s the disconnection that creates the tension.

Nervous System Lens

Your nervous system is designed to protect you.  

If at some point in life, money felt overwhelming, scary or linked to conflict, your body remembers.

So even now, as an adult, you might feel:

• A quickened heart when you think of your account balance

• Tension when you hear the word “budget”

• A desire to distract yourself the moment you open your banking app

This isn’t because you’re bad with money. It’s because your body is trying to keep you safe. And here’s the good news: the more gently you engage with money, the safer your system feels over time.

Here’s What You Can Do: Journal Prompts

• “What would I like my relationship with money to feel like?”

• “How much money is currently on my bank account?” (Do you know? Don’t look, no cheating!)

• “What would my 80 year old self ask me to do (or not to do) today so she can feel at ease?” 

Then take a few deep breaths - really, it helps. And look at your bank account. Did you guess right? 

After you review your numbers, write down one thing that’s working in relation to the bank account (and the fact that you looked at your numbers absolutely counts!). That’s all you have to do for today. 

Next Step?

And next time you swipe your card for the 10th pair of the same high heels that you already have in your closet, ask yourself, what will that do to the number on my bank account? What feeling am I chasing by buying these shoes? What would my 80 year old self say about my purchase? Where else could I use that money? What else could it buy me? 

My personal benchmark is how many months in Asia I can pay rent with a certain amount. Our monthly rent here is currently ca. 500 EUR. Paying 2,000 EUR extra on business class flights? That’s four months in Asia. Not happening. Because priorities. 
Buying a pair of nice high heels for 250 EUR? For me, half the rent. 

And One More Thought Experiment

Let’s take that one step further. 250 EUR shoes today put in one ETF with an average annual 8% interest rate could make your 80 year old self 7,414 EUR in 45 years (if you’d like to play around with a few numbers, here are two super simple compound interest calculators - German and English).

Just that one investment, if you never invest anything ever again. Not a huge amount obviously, but what are the high heels going to do for you in 45 years? Jup. Nothing. They lose value the second you buy them and wearing them accelerates the loss in value. I am not the anti-shoes advocate and life must be enjoyed and sometimes it is the overpriced high heels that are just soooo pretty, but you get the point ;). 

A Takeaway Truth

Understanding money isn’t about getting it perfect, it’s about creating peace. 

Each small step you take to learn, check in or plan is an act of self-care. Today, tomorrow and in 30 years down the line. 

And over time, these steps build a foundation that supports not just your finances, but your sense of safety and well-being. And not just yours. Also the sense of safety of your 80 year old self.

Key Terms Defined

• Self-Care: Any action that supports your well-being, including emotional and financial health.

• Money Relationship: The patterns of thought, feeling, and behavior you have around money.

• Nervous System Regulation: Practices that help bring your body into a state of calm and balance.

• Gentle Loop: A repeating cycle of behavior that feels protective but may keep you stuck.

• Financial Peace: A state of feeling secure and clear about your money choices.

  Further Reading

• Blog Post: Why Do I Feel Anxious When Checking My Bank account

• Mystery Money Workbook With A Lot. More Journal Prompts (instant download and editable, no need to print it out)

• Waitlist: If you’d like to learn more, sign up for the Mystery Money Course waitlist - no need to pay now, I just need your name and email address. And on top, you’ll get a 20% discount if you are on the waitlist once the course goes live. What’s inside? 30 videos, 6 modules, all videos are short and can be watched on demand, learn at your own pace whenever you have time, lifetime access. More info here.